suicide note

by closet monster.

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Closet Monster Is Still Dead

    So in finality, we have put three unreleased songs and a collection of our past remastered anthological numbers onto a limited number of clear with red smoke vinyl records. We have entitled it Suicide Note, and it’s mostly for ourselves, but also for anyone who we may have crossed paths with during our ten years as a band or whom we may have struck an emotional or political chord.

    Any money made by this record or any of our past records, is going to go to our friends and all the dogs at Land Of The Strays dog shelter in Costa Rica… check out this video here to see what we are talking about:

    In a perfect completion of a circle kind of way, this record is also the last record that Underground Operations will ever put out… you can read the labels formal statement here:

    To go along with “Suicide Note” we put together a little music video that is oozing with nostalgia and which was created in the hopes that it might touch a few people’s hearts the way it touches ours when we watch it. We met so many fucking wonderful people during our travels it’s amazing to think back upon. The people who sang our songs with us, the promoters who put on the shows, the people who let us crash on their floors or play in their living rooms, the other bands we shared the stage with, and all the people who contributed in their own ways to what seems to be now the last generation of true networked local scenes. I feel old when i think about how it used to be. Im sure a lot of us do. But man, it was wonderful how it all worked back then. You can watch it here:

    There is not a lot to say about the band now. Its been so long since anything has ever come of it. It almost feels like a dream or at times just a faded tattoo we all wear from our past. But now, however many years later, i understand that it was so much more than that. It played a unique role in who we were to each to become in life, and hopefully who we will continue to grow into.

    When we decided to go our separate ways so many years ago, we all promised each other it was just a temporary hiatus, which turned out to be just something we told ourselves at the time because it was nearly eight years before we all sat in the same room again. So why now this? Make no mistake about it, this is not us jumping on the reunion bandwagon… there is no delusion here. There will be no show. No tour. No jamming. Etc. I would like to think that we cant say it will never happen, but we definitely proved to ourselves this is not the right time. However, we feel like some kind of closure was needed, because we never left a note, we just kinda faded away and tried to ignore it. So this it. This record is our suicide note, from so many years ago. And hopefully if the band meant anything to you, it will find it’s way into your hands. And that is the most we can hope for. That is why.

    We always said that in the end we hoped to see you in a smoke filled coffee shop one day, so that we could talk what we’ve all been through. So reach out if you want. Send us old flyers or photos. There are tons of old stories locked away. That would be so awesome. If nothing else comes of this, this is a great opportunity to reconnect and see how each other are doing… after all, this post is going to sit on here for a long time to come, so it’s an open invitation which is rad. Plus the political climate doesnt look like its going to cool down anytime soon so there is going to be a lot to talk about for the next couple years… hah.

    Anyway… if you are reading this, there is a probably a reason. So thank you. <3

    Closet Monster*

    This truly aint no mecca man, this place is truly fucked
    We built it up and watched it fall. And survived with those we trust
    All we were searching for was someone or something to believe in.


    Includes unlimited streaming of suicide note via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 500 

      $20 CAD or more 


  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $5 CAD




released December 2, 2016



all rights reserved


closet monster. Toronto, Ontario

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Track Name: mama anti-facisto
you said it wouldn't work.
i'm not going to take that again.
the beauty of the people's politics embodied in.
now I got to. We all got to. aregato.
keep on singing.
deep inside these streets.
something exists inside these walls.
and I believe I finally laid my feet upon something thats real.
keep on singing,
she said never surrender.
it's time to make a stand.
we're gonna make it
yeah baby take my hand.
we're gonna make it
an anarcho-communist said that his name was favio.
she was anti-fascist and from their smiles you'd never know.
we're gonna make it.
this machine kills culture.
progress is tearing us, not the way it should be, just the way it is.
Track Name: the doomed generation
this is a call to a generation.
and we scream:
homeless human being running rampant on the street.
a heartless population blindly staring at defeat.
a government attempting to be the world police
and i just want to get stoned
not quite post apocalyptic, but a corporate cesspool nonetheless
bilboards conquering skylines, capitalism's out of hand
their war is about control. fear bombards from cnn.
and i just want to get stoned.
and queen street's your paradise?
did they really think it wouldn't come to this?
gas masks chlorine taps once its gone not coming back
didnt they really think it would come to this
i said no.
cause i want to believe that there is another way
that there is a better way
a call to a generation its time to save history
a call to a generation

"they claim they never wanted anything but to progress the human race, and benefit everyone including them, but slowly the obvious become clear to those they lied to as they watched the world slip through their fingers, the harder they tried to control it. to pieces. to pieces.

our land, the air, the beauty of the life around us: traded in for personal game and company profit.

cause i want to believe that there is another way, that there is a better way
portrait of a machine painted in three shades of grey
never gunna get it back
never gunna press reset
should we all be scared to death?
Track Name: punk rock ruined our lives
antoher fucking town and another fucking day
and I just can't believe that this place still looks the same.
we got our whole damn world nailed through our hand
each other in a rusted van. home is wehre we play.

remember when all we dreamed was to be living this.
remember when we wanted to change their world with our own fists.
and now we're here living it. our world is what we play.
we live what we create. alright this is it. this is our time right now.

remember together.
we know that his won't last forever.
i always thought my life would never change again.
but now I know.
i gave up wondering way too long ago.
we took control.
we carved in stone.
this world is what we make.

this song could never justify, two million breaths to realize
where we would end up tonight
mods and rockers- late Wednesday night
the mix tape that I made, it ruined my life.
Track Name: the empire strikes iraq
more bombs dropped on the first morning
then in all of operations desert storm
unprovoked i sit alone in fear
whose rifles start as pens
and end as smart bombs dropped on innocence
it's difference in culture not intelligence
please sign here

broken audio as carpet bombs explode
i wish all the dead children could be delivered and
buried on the white house lawn
that's imposed freedom's highest cost
maybe for once a price we won't forget
i ask, was this our vietnam?

if this is freedom then what's with all of the dissent
If this is freedom then what's with all the piles of dead
Track Name: corporate media death squad
just one more headline, stop the press.
forget about their news.
it's filtered through years of pedigree and policy.
we don't think you don't think twice, cause you don't think at all.
the weather's nice so here's another useless hit pop song.

i want to smash the radio.
the struggle's about freedom, not who is going to win it.

a public service announcement for you:
no one should profit from the news.

2-4-6-8 first things first then smash the state
5-6-7-8 right about then... i'm feeling great.

I want to smash the radio
Track Name: battle cry for a better world
man made convention breeds accident prevention.
a garbage man blew his head off; he deals with all our waste.
refuse to learn a lesson, keep asking the same question,
history repeats itself as we wash down the drain.
who are we and what have we become?
a race to ignorance.
who are we and what have we become?
a race of ignorance.
convenience bought by the wholesale tons.
obedience and peace sought through the barrel of a gun.
upkeep the illusion first world leaders, of equal rights and global harmony.
celebrate by spending billions on olympic stadiums
while just outside there are thousands sound asleep upon the street.
It's time to stand up, it's time to fight back
Track Name: playground
what a wonderful place.
where buildings rise
and cities fall short of a better place.
what a wonderful feeling it would be,
to sit back and watch it all fall down.
just might, put me to sleep at night.
i'm not sure how to cope.
in a place where the system depends on crushing and stepping
on the lower classes for any source of profit
its sick.
in a place where the freedom of one man
depends on another ones fall at the right price.
it might as well be packages up and sold.
in a place where the power of the rich
gets spit back in our face
and another on the streets feels the pain.
in a place where a million voices can be wrong.
Track Name: shitting in the face of this western disgrace
this smile will never fade.
cause one vote is their strength.
let's build a machine of our own and take it all back.
the power's in our hands I am at my own command.
why can't we win votes and smiles like regan of 1986?
with a smile like that you can get away with anything that he did.
funding contra wars and drug cartels.
who's walking who.
i could never tell.

our dreams erased by a material conquest.
our thoughts bombarded by feeling uselessness.
these streets are our streets.
reclaim redecorate this cluttered attention demanding campaign blitz.
eye sores everywhere I look.
please tell me what I need.
what I need to fear.
please tell me what products will bring my life a smile.

they build us up to be consumers.
right from our own schools we are taught to buy.
let's chose one billboard near our homes each and jam it our way.

our way.
our message.
our vote.
taking back our public space and visual freedom.
Track Name: a gun that i can borrow
lets fight for the freedom to communicate ideas and options
breakdown the media conglomerates and big business infotainment
look at all these fucking sheep
because what is getting to us has been washed 1000 times and this is what we get
stuck in this media plutocracy opinion breeding mess

this news shits in print
tainted and selected
sifting through he ashes of integrity
on and on and on and on
if these are the answers for tomorrow does anybody got a gun that i can borrow?

lets fight for the freedom to cut and paste ideas and opinions
take back the airwaves with our own creative manipulation of their system
if you only tried.
the system that marginalizes and dehumanizes each one of us as they manufacture our consent
i cant believe i used to believe everything that i had read

how can some have the traits of sheep armed with guns
misinformed the nation stormed
the pope is dead to me because
Track Name: the anti-racist sing-a-long
fuck racism.
fuck that brain-dead scum.
fucking boneheads too.
go fuck em all to hell.
fucking bigotry its to 1770's this is the year 2001. (come on~?)
so this is relevant how come?
the fact that I might need to remind you,
that racism is ridiculous
justifies the premise for us writing this song.
so everyone please sing along.... FUCK RACISM.
Track Name: smells like revolutionary spirit
the people united will never be defeated,
sticks and stones and kitchen racks soaked in vinegar,
fists of love and homemade shields and hearts made of gold.
cause bravery... is standing up for what you believe...
not hiding behind flags and lies and broken down democracies.
not fighting wars from behind palace doors.

50,000 voices screaming out,
50,000 different rhythms creating one,

hand painted signs, on the front lines a message of strength.
laugh and dance while you stare you oppressors in the face.
we won't back down.
fighting evil will make the weakest brave.
Track Name: the great mall explosion
i thought this was the underground - that we built something ourselves.
a self-sufficient subculture - a home away from hell.
the more i see everything crumbling the more songs i'll sing like this.
cause when you're gone, i will still be here.
knockout connection face to fist.

this is the mall punk anti thesis, mtv wants to buy us out.
a call to the independent record store:
"we could have conquered so much more,
but instead we sold ourselves off way too short."
walking hand in hand, corporate business and punk rock ltd.
welcome to life after mtv.

cause music is and art,
creation will inspire,
i got a feeling that i can't let go.

talk about content with floating through.
talk about just one more hit band for history.
you took your megaphone from the man to speak to the whole world and you never once tried to make no difference.
Track Name: summer of '97
nobody was listening.
just shit talking unimpressed with us.
for speaking up and out above the murmur of the crowd.
cause it's nothing special.
it's basic fundamental.
just four guys concerned trying to drum up some right questions right now.
a room full of people: the whole worlds in their hands.
why's not the whole world concerned?

this is your world to you know.
stand up for something more than sitting right back down.
i'm not afraid to get up and communicate this message to you because it eats me alive and I think that's why you only want to watch me sit and scream. but that doesn't justify what happened here.
what happened here?!
you don't know how it feels (granted I don't know how it feels either most of the time either).

i'll see you in a smoke filled coffee shop one day.
i hope that we can talk what we've been through.
the most donuts per capita per idiot.
i'll never forget.
taste my lungs bleed again.
i bit my own hand off when i realized it helped to feed.
at the end of the day I know how it feels to want the end.
one more cigarette. you never seemed to understand.
it was just about respect.

this truly ain't no mecca man.
this place is truly fucked.
we built it up and watched it fall.
and survived with those we trust.
all we were earching for was someone or something to believe in.
that's why we got each other. cause when they knock one of us down.
we'll come together underground.
and try to conquer the world
the stars and stripes charred black.
when done right, art should attack.
Track Name: broken social punk rock scene
truth bleeds through these verses
gets lost in your eyes
its lost in translation,
so we scream louder each time
breathe, inhale, exhale
the scent that still lingers
it keeps me awake for this drive
this lovely road that we share
if the tank will run empty you'll always be there
what are we doing with our lives
these verses we scream every time

i ask will you sing along?
this system wasn't built for us
with or without you we will carry on

we share these tools that we've stolen
these faded tattoos
and these minds that seem broken.
what are we doing with our lives
these verses we bleed every time